Thank God that’s over!
It is the day after the day after the election and I am relieved that it is over.
The decisiveness of Trump's victory is also relieving. I think it would have been much worse if it had been drug out and eventually decided by the courts. The people have spoken and that has got to be respected.
I am sure that the Democratic Party will do its navel gazing, and self-immolation. I'm sure the Republican party will do their Victory lap.
I really hope that Donald Trump and his administration will govern well. They have the White House, the Senate and a friendly judiciary, and they may yet even claim the House. They have the popular vote and the mandate from the people. God bless them, go get it.
I hope that I am proven wrong about the darker potentials of Trump's presidency and administration. I hope the “I told you so” never leaves my back pocket. And I hope that he is truly the disruptor that we need in American politics to change our direction as a society and as a global population in a better Direction.
I think this is a good place to leave it. I have a lot more on my chest, a lot more that I think is worth sharing, but it is important to me that this message comes across clearly.
“Gratitude for the systems that we have built to serve us functioning well, and gratitude for the peaceful transfer and application of power.”
Twilight Twilight Twilight
Twilight Twilight Twilight.
Death comes for you tonight.
Every bird in flight.
It will gobble the world
and all its life.
Too little too late to rage,
rage against the dying of the light.
Sit inside that grief, that loss before it happens.
Science gives us the ability to see the things we cannot feel. It gives us the ability to see over the horizon, it lengthens our vision. Rationale can make decisions and choose behavior from this extended sight, but not a heart unwilling to experience pain.
———
Social media offered up a stream of images this morning. A mix of climate and geopolitical news coupled with armature nature photography. The juxtaposition induced the surreal quality of a dream. It seemed like we where attending our own funeral - it was mother Earth’s funeral. With the logic of dreams my consciousness could switch perspectives. I watched, and was, our extended family bickering, greedy for Mother Earth's inheritance, justifying our actions and desires. And I was our self leaning over the casket shedding tears over the beautiful life lost. The life that could been, had we chosen differently. Like a spirit that could watch the whole room and yet be everybody in that room at the same time, the ghosts of Christmas past. (Sit inside that grief, that loss before it happens.)
One of the videos this morning was of birds in the last evening’s light flying to find a roost. Beautiful, singing shadows against a twilight sky. Tomorrow is finally too hot. Tonight you're witnessing their last flight. This is happening now. It's just that most of the time the catastrophe, the death, the extinction, happens in the next town over, just out of sight. (Science gives us the ability to see over the horizon.)
The thing about death and loss is that it doesn't directly affect you unless you are close to it. There will be no reminder of that person, animal or object, because it will be gone. The world only knows them by the ripples they don't make. We can handle so much pain and tragedy because it's quiet, out of sight, out of mind.
What if every bird where you live dropped out of the sky one day. What if every tree died one summer? Then your kids are born, and they grow up in a town without trees, or birds. For them it's normal. We are that generation. None of us have seen the sky darkening flocks of Passenger Pigeons.
And so I get it. I get how it’s normal. I get how we can go on like something didn't happen, because it didn't happen to us. I get how the rich can keep choosing to do the things they have been doing to be rich. I get how the rest of us are too depleted of time to do anything about it. I get it, at the cost of all this life. I get it.
And it's all just so fucking sad!
(Sit inside that grief.)
National Museum of Natural History, Martha the last Passenger Pidgin
And the list goes on.
Sit with this pain for a bit.
Then go out and do something about it.
I am here now.
I am here now.
All the lives I could live.
NOT all the lives I could have lived, not all the people I could have been, only…
I am here now.
Conversations with my older self.
Having a conversation with your older self can yield some surprising results. It’s a good technique to cut through the bull shit your telling your self and get down to the core of an issue, the real problem, or the most important thing that you may be avoiding.
Asking myself for advice on how to live.
Me: “How do I turn out? Who are you?”
Older Me: “Honestly I don't know, you haven't made up your mind yet.”
Me: (Sits quietly, examining myself. Assessment; “FUCK! He's right.”)
“So you don't have any suggestions on how I can overcome that struggle, because I am struggling. With how to live or who I want to be and, you know, rising to my potential, meeting my soul's calling, etc, etc… life purpose.”
Older Me: (Grimace.) “No not really. But I can tell you how I turn out based on what you would decide.
Me: “Yeah, but I want to know how to decide, what am I on track for now?”
Older Me: Well, what you're on track for now is being a sweet old man, nothing remarkable, but you're so damn nice. Everyone seems to get along with you and likes being around you. The one thing that you can hold up in your life is being lucky. You grow up soft, age gently and live lucky. You're good with yourself and you're tolerant of the realization that you could have done better, that you might have done more to make the world a better place. But you're okay now and you've made it this far and at this point no one, including yourself, is expecting you to make a difference.”
Me: “Yeah okay… So I do want to make a difference. I want to be that person. What's that version of me like?
Older Me: “Oh I'm fucking awesome! I might be old but I'm bright-eyed, quick-witted, fun, smart, adventurous on top of being nice, kind, loving and lucky. I don't have much money but I'm getting by, maybe with some style. And I'm feeling super good about my life.”
Me: “Yeah that's what I want. How do I get there?”
Older Me: “Well today is a good example of what you would do to get there. You just do the things that you want to do... Or that I want to do... You know, the best version of yourself.”
Me: “Yes, yes, yes, but I'm on track to being the okay version of myself. How do I get to be on the best version of myself track?
Older Me: “Just do what you did today, again. But honestly you haven't figured it out yet. You haven't figured out how to set a goal and reach it. You haven't figured out how to work when you're confused. You haven't figured out how to do what the best version of yourself wants you to do when you don't feel good, or when you feel tired. You haven't committed to anything, you haven't created a support network, you haven't gotten out of your comfort zone and found the people that you need in your life to help you.”
“So yeah, do all those things that you haven't done for decades and you'll be a different person after a few decades, but you're not there yet and I don't know if you ever will be, I hope you are. You seem to be in the process of rationalizing or accepting the easy path, the comfortable path, resting on your luck and charm. Frankly I know that's not who you want to be, and that's how your life has set you up to be. I hope you manifest what you want. But I’m good either way.”
Me: “Me too. I guess there's really nothing that I can do or say, or anything really. Is there even a point touching back in with you? Reporting my progress maybe?”
Older Me: “No. No don't touch in with me, don't report your progress that shit doesn't work and you know it. And there's absolutely nothing you can say, but there is something you can do. Call some counselors, get assessed for ADHD or bipolar or whatever get an external assessment of your mental landscape then get help if it looks like you need it. That's what you can do. Something small, manageable and right now.”
Me: “Thanks pop's. I hope you're well, and I will touch in with you because this has been of service to me.”
Older Me: “Ha! Ok. But I don't want to hear about it. You tell me who you are and what you’re doing, and I'll answer and give you advice based on who I am and my life experience. But none of this I need you to make a decision for me BS. I'll either be that gentle and lucky self, or I'll be that and the adventurous, fun self too.”
Email Testing
A sample of the grind. What goes through the head and consumes the day of a small business owner in America.
I run a small business. The very ideal of mom-&-pop shop. It makes ends meat, and that’s about it.
In the past 6 months I’ve decided to try to scale up, and the first thing I needed to do was to assess my process, organize, streamline and modernize. In so doing, I created a bunch of work for my self, (all useful) mainly by addressing deferred maintenance. I identified some tools that I can use when the scale is there, and began organizing and tracking information that was always left to my limbic system to track.
Through all this, modernizing the web site and getting all the webhosting, domain registration and email service under one roof seemed like a good idea. Seemed there where also some unintended consequences. #1 my SEO ranking dropped off the face of the earth. From a steady 300 hits a month to zero. And #2 I stopped receiving emails from clients. It turns out that they were not getting my emails… any of them! For some reason their systems decided that my email address was a spam account, and all my invoices and weekly updates where being filtered out.
In the process of preparing to scale I took my organic business from alive and putzing along, to a work laden corpse soaking up fees, time, and energy. UGH.
So today I’m drafting 3 emails, all with slightly different designs and wording to see what if anything I can do to slip past the spam filters, and sending them to clients that I have a good relationship with, as well as their phone number so that I can assess what is getting through. If anything.
Draft 1: No trigger words like “FREE” or “SALE” Simple text, no images.
Draft 2: Light trigger words like “Holiday” and an image.
Draft 3: Trigger words, and images.
Moral Violence
A closer look at violence & the moral measure of our actions . Both MLK and Leonard Leo are trying to make the world more like their vision, what they share in common, and the meaning of violence against the status que.
I admire the quality in people that compels them to make the world into something different, or to bring something new into the world. If you think about the effort to deviate from the current trajectory of anything, it requires inflicting a violence of some kind, a breaking of the statue que. Undertaking that change, whatever it may be, requires grit, determination, persistence, and the willingness to disturb the way things are.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
I struggle deeply with the word violence in this context because it summons to mind images of destruction and acts of cruelty, war, murder, clearcuts and exploitation. This article is wrestling with the 3rd definition of the word violence. Its “the violence of the storm vehement feeling or expression : FERVOR.
“Violence
noun
vi·o·lence ˈvī-lən(t)s ˈvī-ə-
Synonyms of violence
1. the use of physical force so as to injure, abuse, damage, or destroy
a. an instance of violent treatment or procedure
2. injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation : OUTRAGE
3. intense, turbulent, or furious and often destructive action or force
a. the violence of the storm vehement feeling or expression : FERVOR
b. an instance of such action or feeling
c. a clashing or jarring quality : DISCORDANCE
4. undue alteration (as of wording or sense in editing a text)”
Consider that a birth can be violent. It is undoubtedly an act of creation but its not clean or peaceful. Its messy, extremely intense, active and painful, violent. Bringing something into this world acts of creation, just as acts of destruction, have within them, violence. But I think there is a difference, and I want to sus that difference out.
Another layer to this is, our culture’s elevation of the people who are possessed by this drive, mission, vision, fervor. They are idolized and revered, and set the rule by which we may measure our own worth. Whether it’s the quiver-full mother, or the successful soldier who killed x combatants to complete the mission.
The analogy extends beyond birth and war, to the artist who brought X project into the world, and the businessman who opened X new market with X new product. It scales up and down. From the individual who undertakes a path of self-improvement (a form of violence against one’s self, or tendencies), to capital shifting to fund X project over Y (violent in that the old project will now die from neglect, and the new project will “break ground” and all the associated jobs lost and gained, ecological impacts, etc…).
People admire Martin Luther King, and his vision for the world, and all of the effort he put into making the world come closer to that visioned. The courage, tenacity, persistence, grit, violence necessary to change the status que.
(let’s not get into the semantics. I know MLK’s tactics and advocacy where non-violent in that he and the movement sought not to cause harm or pain. But it’s clear that the world, American culture, would not change without effort. And maybe this article is a waste of time because I’m confusing effort with violence which is associated with destruction. Perhaps though this article is useful in acknowledging that effort, associated with positive qualities like creation, and accomplishment has an element of violent or destructive quality against the status que.)
And yet I find my self outraged by the same qualities of Leonord Leo, who is non-violently advocating for the world he believes in, advocating for social change, mentoring youngsters, and setting up organizations to sustain his vision in the world.
Maybe this means I’m a crunchy liberal or academic. Because I’m sure that there where those who where outraged at MLK’s work, and maybe that means that they where racist. And maybe we are each ok with those labels and identities.
I think there is a distinction though. There is the person who under takes effort/violence for the freedom and liberation of others, and the person who undertakes effort/violence for power over others. The perception of whether these motivations are good or bad depends on your moral frame of reference (See The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt.).
It took me the length of this article to come to the distinction: The moral measure of an act of violence/effort or of the character of a person idealized as containing this quality, are a combination of the reasons why and the real world outcomes of that act, or actions, that distinguish the quality of a violent/effort.
To advocate for social change so that more people can prosper, or less can. To undertake self-improvement because you want to be a better person for those around you, or because you hate a part of yourself. To kill by accident, or intent.
Any act contains violence, nature is violent, from the photon hitting your eye, to the tiger killing a child. The creation of this article, the posting of this article, the reading of this article, its impact on your mind. The intent and the amount of self-reflection that precedes an action, I believe, affect the outcome in the real world.
So pause for a moment. Take a small measure of yourself. Why, deeply examine, why are you about to do, what you are about to do? What thoughts, feelings, visions of the world or beliefs of how the universe works are motivating you to take your next action? If that is clear then you will know your reasons, and if you know your reasons, then your actions will be more effective. At least that’s what all the spiritual and business gurus or violence say.
The meaning of work
The meaning of work. What does work mean and what does it mean to us? What questions can we ask when defining work that empowers us, and how much of our understanding of work comes from our parents, our history, and our past?
What is “work?”
I think that this is an important question to ask yourself. It’s one of those important questions that we develop an intuitive understanding of without actually answering the question for ourselves. I also think that the answers we live with may or may not serve us as well as they could, we need to ask a better question to cut through the generational, and cultural inheritance of what work is, and what it means to us.
I’ve asked myself these questions a lot; “what is work?” & “what does work mean to me?” When I was in my early twenties I even had the word “work” tattooed on my body in an attempt to make the meaning my own.
Miriam Webster’s Dictionary:
“to exert oneself physically or mentally especially in sustained effort for a purpose”
Cutting through the fat, of my story, what I’ve inherited from my culture, family, and how that’s impacted my life, the ramifications of those impacts, etc… here is my working answer thus far.
WORK = Disciplined effort over time.
Because this is English, I’m forced to use synonyms to describe the core word. It’s like being able to point to a bunch of bushes to describe a tree. I highly recommend checking out Miriam Webster’s Dictionary results on this word. There are upwards of over a dozen definitions under each category, verb, noun, and adjective. “to exert oneself physically or mentally especially in sustained effort for a purpose”
To understand work, and eventually, the nature of work, let's break it down and examine what each of its components means in more granular detail.
Discipline, according to one definition in Miriam Webster’s Dictionary means “control gained by enforcing obedience or order.” Control, force, and order are common verbs employed in most of the definitions.
My own definition of discipline is “the choice to be consistent in thought or deed over time, despite circumstances or alternatives (this is the essence of growth – biological, mental, or in the world). This mirrors the controlling, and ordering aspects of the dictionary's definition.
Effort, I define by its opposite “not the easy path.” Once again Miriam Webster’s “conscious exertion of power: hard work.” is another bush to point at in an effort to describe a tree.
“Over time’ appears on its surface to be easy to parse, and that’s where we’ll stay to avoid going too deep into the philosophical realms of thermodynamics. But we do have to touch on entopic, and creative forces because it appears as if “work” and its interlocutors have an ordering property. Something that goes against the tendency for things to fall into disarray. It’s a thing that is, “not the easy path.”
Now we begin to understand the word work, but what does it mean to us? What does it mean to you? In my own life, it has meant struggle. It has meant meeting the expectations of my family, and the people around me. It has been the thing that I’ve based my self-worth on, and it has been what others have judged me by.
I’ve worked for others, building their agenda, and I’ve worked for myself building my agenda. I’ve seen work as a toxic extraction of one’s life essence, time, meaning, and soul. A waste of their expression on Earth, and the potential betterment of all mankind, and I have seen it as the fulfillment of all those high aspirations.
Now it feels like a glass ceiling. It keeps me down by always moving the goalposts. "This is work, and you will achieve greatness if you do this, now this, now this, now this…" It feels like a shouting match between an artist, and an industrialist in my mind. “Do this one thing until you receive this one outcome,” & “life is way more dynamic and holistic, you need to be balanced in order to succeed. If you’re not balanced in your efforts your success will be hollow, and counterproductive.”
The simple advice I have to constantly remind myself of is to pick what’s necessary, maybe it's your day job or your primary source of income, and do that until you have met your needs. If you’re an artist at heart like me, always wanting to chase different rabbits (chase two rabbits catch none), pick one thing, and devote the most time to that.
For me, it is going to look like this:
6 hours to revive my business.
4 hours to my household responsibilities.
2 hours for my side projects
And then 2 hours for the maintenance of body mind, and spirit.
This is a work day, 4 days a week. 3 days a week are weekends (coordinating with my wife’s schedule) where the emphasis will be put on the relationship, and the shared projects, plus self-care, Sharpening the saw as Steven Covey puts it in his book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.”
Who the Fuck, Why the Fuck, & Whaaaa…? OK.
What are the principles I am moving towards… maybe a better verb would be, moving for? It’s hard to translate the aching in one’s heart into words at the very least, and its harder to translate that ache into a meaningful creation in the world.
Statements of self, and self-worth. I think about who I want to be, and what I want the world to be, and all the skills and structures that I want to experience, and I look back an don’t see a body of my work to clarify what direction I’m going.
Who am I, and What am I aiming for, and how does that help anybody? I hope that one day this blog will be a polished gen with a purpose, right now it’s the cathartic, messy, birthing spittle of a purpose seeking an avenue in the world.
Meshing who I am, what I want to be and do and see, with the world in such a way that those things can come to be.
So… What is this about?
What am I about?
I believe that at the most fundamental level of reality, beyond space, time, and experience is awareness. Call it God, Tao, Chi or the Force, what ever.
I believe that there are anti-entropic forces. AKA a tendency for the universe/nature to arrange it’s self in more, and more complex systems. Call it creation if you must, but there is an organizing principle as well as a disorganizing principle (entropy) at play.
I believe that as human beings we have a unique opportunity. Our minds are capable of direct experiences of the underlying awareness of the universe, and they are capable of deriving insights into the workings of nature. Combined with the ability to use tools (thank you opposable thumbs), we can apply these insights with this thing call intent.
Intent, is likely widely available in nature, though, yet again human beings poses a unique ability to harness this quality and use it, with yet another amazing thing, Choice.
Choice or free will, is why you are here today.
Now as human beings we have a choice, devoid of morality, simply do we want to support the organizing, complexity factors in the universe of the disorder, entropic forces in the universe. Yes, yes, yes, I hear you physics’ No matter what we do we’re bound by the laws of nature. If we want to create a supercomputer linked mass consciousness trading platform to run a global economy, we have to burn fuel and that negates the anti-entropic effects of all that matter organization. I hear you, and your not all right. Another answer exists in lock step, and that is; it does matter what we choose to do and in a universe where it does matter on one side of a coin, and it doesn’t matter on the other, it’s a wise idea to choose the behavior that matters in the direction you want to go.
Now. For me I want to support the organizing forces in the universe. Why? Because its fun! Because it feels good, because it brings me joy, and every person I’ve seen everywhere has the same response to this organizing principle.
I believe that the best way to support this organizing principle is to be the ultimate symbiont to life on earth while producing ever higher levels of technology. I believe this term is a “Techno-Topia”
Is land going to have to be cleared to make a factory? Will energy have to harnessed to run that factory, refine the materials, power the lights that children are educated by? Yes. Will there be tradeoffs? Yes. But lets remember the why we choose to do these things and them do them in harmony with that larger goal.
You’ve heard the saying “the ends justify the means.” I think that when you are building a better world that that statement is absolutely false, its backwards. Whenever you’re improving something, it’s that “the means must do justice to the ends.”
Think about it, when you’re attempting to do any type of self-improvement you undertake activates that support who you are becoming, and the same is true on any scale. That’s a big statement, and I acknowledge that there are some leaps that don’t have a 1:1 translation, but the principle is consistent.
What we’re seeing today in society, and in the global eco-sphere is the manifestation of our accumulated intent, which has largely been some caveman – dark ages game of thrones type of shit mixed with capitalism which translates into exploitation.
People have been building systems and institutions to amas power, to enrich them selves, and understandably so. Power means that you are protected, and when your neighbors are assholes and will kill you for your shit, its necessary. But as our personal borders have begun to overlap with each other more and more, and the resources at hand become more and more intertwined with your neighbors, the horde it all and fuck you system begins to break down. A new way of thinking, interacting and building is required, but there’s a leap of faith that’s required, because all of a sudden you have to go from ridged borders to open borders, and this only works if your neighbor treads respectfully on your land.
All this to say that for me personally, I need to this world open up, I need to help open my self up. I need to teach and learn how to walk softly on my neighbors lawn. I need to learn how to be a gracious host to those who tread across my yard. Business has to learn how to be a good neighbor too.
All that to say; This blog is about opening up, its about teaching and learning the skills to be a good human being in relation with others. Its about teaching, growing and creating businesses that consider them selves human beings with responsibilities like the rest of us to not be ass holes. Its about steering the systems, institutions, people and practices in that direction.
This blog is about the outcomes of our cumulative actions 1000 years from now, and how to make that a fantastic place to live in!
Today I am here
I want to actively work on the narrative I have for my self again. Because I base a lot of my self image on what direction I am moving in, or more accurately what effort I expending, how hard I’m trying. Am I struggling? While I am comfortably at home living a quiet peaceful life, I lack the narrative of striving or struggling for something. What’s there in that empty space, no, what have I filled that space with? And now that I look at it, I find that I’m not proud of it, though there’s no reason not to be, other then the absence of struggle. Maybe its the absence of effort, yes, that’s it. And that’s hard for me when there is an absence of need. Now, how do I speak about it in a kind way, a proud way?
The gap between who I am and who I want to be is measured in how easy it is to do the behaviors, that make either one of those beings come true..
Today I am here. And I am the best, and worst versions of my self.
I love it!
I hate it.
I love it,
Green Think Pitch
I don’t have a name for this pitch, this idea. We’ll call it the Green idea.
The Green idea:
In parallel with Larry Fink’s 2018 letter to CEO’s declaring a sea change in the direction of capitalism towards sustain ability. A key component of that is that companies “… must also support communities” by considering them stake holders in the companies operation.
That’s what the Green idea is about. As a NPO democratic organization, we provide the opportunity to improve a companies physical plant, campus, public relations and its net operating cost, by taking advantage of existing, and forthcoming tax, and civil incentive programs.
This isn’t Green Washing, its green engineering with the intent of 1. Reducing costs, 2. Taking advantage of civil investment, 3. Investing in the companies foundational infrastructure, 4. Taking advantage of local community resources & 5. Including the local community around operations as stake holders engendering good will and investment.
1. Reducing costs
By modernizing physical infrastructure. One of the most effective and low cost ways is by replacing incandescent lights with LEDs. Swapping existing hardware with POE (Power over Ethernet devices). The old devices are then able to be sold to recover the cost of investment. Insulation and Solar programs offset the cost of lowering long term energy usage. Depending on how the details these improvements will have a net zero cost to the company in 1 to 20 years.
2. Taking advantage of civil investment
Use tax incentive, rebate and grant programs to offset capital investment costs.
3. Investing foundational infrastructure
You campus is your foundational infrastructure Go solar. Get batteries, Use ductless heat pumps (possibly become a substation for heating and cooling). Upgrade building materials, and improve insulation etc. But what is often overlooked is the exterior of the building. The easements, and vertical spaces. The Green Idea is unique in providing solutions for this space, See Green Space for expounding.
4. Taking advantage of local community resources
Man hours and creativity. There are many people in local communities who are idling away their time and creativity because there is no useful outlet or for those energies. This project proposes opening up uncultivated space for these energies as an outlet with tangible benefits for the business as well as its reputation.
5. Including local community around operations as stakeholders
Shifting corporate thought to actively include individuals in the communities near operation sights will draw in resources and good will for minimal effort and or investment, while directly benefiting the company by creating local advocates, and promoting long term sustainable practices that ultimately reduce corporate overhead.
Items 1, 2, & 3 are three sides of the same coin. Parts 4 & 5 are mutually intertwined, and the whole process is mutually reinforcing.
Green Space is the 1st and most unique aspect of this plan. Businesses exist and cater the other needs of internal powermangement and infrastructure, and while we are capabel of providing a one stop shop for coordinating and executing these projects we are the only ones to focus specisfically on the nudercultivated spaces surrounding buildings.
Some campuses have green spaces while others don’t. More often then not the green spaces around campuses are maintaind at the bare minimum of creativity, utilizing often over priced mow and blow swevices. The biodiversity, utillity and beauty of these spaces are about as diverse as a parkinglot.
What we do is pair an individule or community orginisation to cultivate that space. Any costs already spent on mow and blow services can be funneled into this project, that while maintaing your space actully improves it by providing outlets for the community. The difficulty that arises from these types of activity is usually only a lack of hamagoney in appearance. The increased biodiversity and cultivation means that a uniform look, uneffected by seasonality is lost. What is gained is 10x more enticing to the eye and mind of both customer and employee.
The costs associated with these projects are usually lower then current services for companies with green spaces. And some times higher for companies without them. However in these cases there are some hidden energy benefits, mainly in the reduction fo urban heat island effect lowering summer time cooling costs as well as providing storm water run off.
Some times its necessary to invest in the initial set up, but not always. We are able to provide comprehansive planning, and cost projections.
Where the data is lackign due to noone doing this are in the returns generated from transforming theses spaces into something cultivated and beautifl. There are obvious social benefists, but there is a lack of data of what can be harvested in these difficult urban or industrial enviromenst and then sold on the open market.
NOW TO SIMPLIFY AND MINIMIZE
Main targt and focus = cultivating the unused spaces by pairing them with community members or orginisations. Growing good will and brand awareness by providing communites with opportunity.???
Work on that pitch.
The gap between who you want to be, & who you are.
I think most people, myself included, feel as if there is a massive gap between who they are, and who they want to be. I often feel this painful gap. But today the thought I have, and am latching onto, is this: “There is no gap between who I want to be, and me. Because who I want to be is a behavior, and I can do them right now.”
The feeling of this gap, and the pain is real though, and shouldn’t be ignored. Until this thought popped into my mind, I didn’t have the perspective to hold in a beneficial light. The gap is that we think of our “who we want to be” as the accumulation of the behaviors we wish we did.
Narratives of “I wish I was healthier” take hold, and we dwell on that. Healthier though, is a set of behaviors for most of us. Eating better, moving better, sleeping-breathing-thinking better. Next time I think; “I wish I was like Tony Robbins” (that’s a bundled image of super rich, fit, charismatic, and kind) I will break that thought down, and set to work.
There is no gap between who I want to be and me, because who I want to be is a behavior, and I can do them right now.
This brings up two more points that I feel need addressed. 1. Usually (for me) I/we think of a person or persona that embodies the qualities that I/we admire. I have my list, and I’m sure that you have yours. I think that it’s fine to use the images we construct of people as anchor points, or beacons in the distance to help establish the direction we want to move in. The dangers of what else our mind can do with these images are many, and the one I want to bring to the forefront is this. That person or persona is the accumulation of the behavior(s) you want to embody. You will not get there over night, or even in this life time (which might be important to make peace with.) The important thing, is whether you move in that direction, or not.
The gap is that we think of our “who we want to be” as the accumulation of the behaviors we wish we did.
The second point is this 2. A person is whole. As much as we wish that our lives could be simplified down to a specific activity or direction, most of us are not in a position where this is possible. We can’t just go live in a gym, and 4 years later, pop out as a fully formed Arnold Schwarzenegger. We have lives, and that takes time, mental energy, and dedication, all of which are finite. Because of that we can get over loaded, and default back into a state of “I wish.” This is one of my top 3 activity stoppers. Getting overwhelmed, pulled in too many directions, and feeling that if I can’t spend X absurd number of hours to do X perfectly, then why bother?
as long as the effort is applied to the little things rather then the dream you will grow.
The above two points bring to the fore-front the element of time, which is what’s tripping us up to begin with. It is so easy to think “I want X” (A body, mind, bank account etc…), and never get it, never even move towards it. Because its’ so far away in time, effort, will, even self. In my moments of grace, I try to think about how nature would approach the problem. Aside from the removal of ego, and perception of time, nature is indomitable, in that it is always moving on all the smallest levels at once, and this is a damn good approach! (Darren Hardy’s book The Compound Effect is a good example of this.)
I think of these raw expanses of my life like a clear-cut, it hurts, it’s ugly, there are all sorts of costs, and mostly a profound short fall in benefits from this barren patch of my life. But I can’t juts look across the valley to the verdant green slopes of the neighboring hill, and instantly have those qualities in my self. Nor will a weekend effort of planting bring back all the benefit of a healthy forest, though it will help. Nature’s approach is the one sustainable approach. Plant seeds, a lot of them! Millions of tiny efforts. Grow in from the edges, slowly grow up, from grasses, to shrubs. Build the soil back, then the seeds you planted all that time ago, the ones that will turn into big ripe trees can start to grow, and then time, more time, and more time, and as long as the effort is applied to the little things rather then the dream, you will grow.
Finding it difficult to be consistent?
Self help, self soothing turns into self therapy.
Yes!
I’ve been sleeping poorly, and drinking a HUGE amount of caffeine to compensate, and I’m feeling like shit! Looking like shit too.
I’m finding it difficult to be consistent… Let me amend that. I’m finding it difficult to be consistent with the behavior that I want to cultivate.
I’m amazingly consistent with my well worn behavior. That being, choosing the easy way out. Feeling stiff? Easier to drink a coffee and walk the dog, or work on the computer then face that stiffness, and pain by stretching.
I’m “so diligent” in choosing to do a chore instead of work on a project. This out is a bit of a double edged sward, as I am the stay at home partner who adds value to the house by keeping it clean, and in good repair. The issue remains, It’s an out from the uncomfortable work of working on my self, or projects. Its easier to write about it then to do it too, though, the writing often gives me juice to actually get it done.
Self therapy session over.
Getting to work.
A mind scattered to the wind
The state of the American mind. The state of the modern mind. ADD
A mind scattered to the wind, a thousand tasks, an implanted dream, and a hostile environment for that dream to grow.
I don’t want to speak for anyone but my-self, and yet I know my story is not a unique one. I’m not a defeated hero. I’m not a martyr, and maybe one day, I won’t be a victim.
Today, I am lost, A mind scattered to the wind, a thousand tasks, an implanted dream, and a hostile environment for that dream to grow. At least I still try growing that dream.
A small does of perspective, from the Strawberry Mountains in Oregon.
Teenage Vibes
“Rage, rage against the dying of the light…” With teenage angst.
The act of creation is never easy, and it requires facing your fears. I think for me first fear is the unknown, and I stand always on the edge of the unknown, aching to know, fearing to go.
The best criticisms gives you the tools to get better.
I love my wife! She gives the best criticisms. I find them constructive, and helpful in the extreme.
At this point my sight is a skeletal wreck of what can be accurately described as teenage angst. This is not the vibe I want to put out into the world, nor the work that I want to reflect on my life. I know where this moody chaos is coming from though, so I have a chance to fix it. Its sourced in the struggle of creation.
At this point I have a jumble of building blocks, kernels, ideas that need organized and fit together to create something. The organizing intelligence behind this organizing process (Me) is having a temper tantrum, because realistically, I’m an infant in the arts of creation.
Staying true to the art of never doing anything, I am contrasting my current state with an idealized finished product, that when I pause to think about, I can’t actually visualize at all.
While its true that I’m frustrated by having the building blocks that jumble not knowing how they will fit together, deeper truth that I'm frustrated because I don't know what I'm building, the end goal isn't clear, and on that note the why of the thing is muddled.
If I'm honest with myself.
If I'm honest with myself these are the reasons why wants to create something.
I want to.
I want the world to recognize me.
I want to do something good for people, the planet, all life, and creation.
I need something to external to me self to point to as a success for self worth & value.
I want to make $ (at least enough to survive on, thrive on would be nice, RICH would be best.)
Sometimes the motivation for creation is simply an internal desire to create. Sometimes it’s because I really want the world to recognize me, to value me. Sometimes it’s because I want to do good, I don't need the praise or recognition but want to see something positive happen from the work of my hand, words, or mind. At other times it because I'm struggling to find self-worth, and something extrinsic to point to would be helpful. “I created that - this is me, this is my portfolio. There is a record.”
So that’s that why(s). A swirly murky pool of unsettled emotions, and varying drives. No wonder I'm frustrated. There's an old engineering adage “form follows function.” I don't have a clear function, thus the form constantly shifting, elusive. It seems ridiculous to me to create five different things, one for each motivation. I don't think I can clearly separate each driving force from the final product. Noticing possible for me to create one thing incorporating all the above into a single vessel or structure.
Throwing spaghetti at the wall.
Throwing spaghetti at the wall seems like the best course of action. Seeing what sticks, what is traction. Each strand of spaghetti in this case represents time energy creative will, desire, confusion, etc… Obviously throwing uncooked spaghetti at the wall nothing will stick. Actually have to cook my noodles to see if any of them are worth keeping.
Nor can one make a career (well maybe in this day and age) of throwing spaghetti against the wall. Actually have to commit to something.
Ahhh… its one of those universal life lessons that I want to share with people. Universe is full of paradoxes, and that you cannot move forward knowing the details of each next step ahead of where you are. Sometimes you have to commit to something that you cannot see.
Sometimes when the universe asks you to do a trust fall, you fall flat on your face. Some times this is your fault for being a dumb ass, some times there’s no way to avoid it, and some times, SOME times we’re caught. I'm pretty sure the stories of success that young people read about when they are seeking their fortunes are these cases. We don't hear the stories of the people who have fallen flat on their faces. We don't hear the stories of all the lottery losers, we don't revel and tell the tales of the unknown soldier… Most of us, slide quietly into the night whether we try, or not.
Full circle to teenage angst.
And thus I have returned to teenage angst. Perhaps this is the driving force behind the rage of the dying of the light.
So here is to a good trip!
Here is a cheer for screaming into the void. A toast to the open road ahead, a prayer for the strength, and courage for that trust fall, good humor for the pain if it comes, and humility if we meet with grace.
Here’s a good feeling for gathering your pack and hitting the open road, some times you’ve just got to go, even if your without a destination in mind.
Here’s to that infant raging at their build blocks turning into a child, building for joy, even if that is the only purpose.
It all begins with an idea, then it meets reality and, well… Shit!
Do the work.
:| How the hell does it all connect together? I either don’t know enough (granted) and can’t know in its entirety. Starting x number of things, and having each suck $ from my bank account just sucks (clever use of the word suck there.). But starting with everything perfect from the outset is a guaranteed show stopper so here’s to doing it the slow clunky expensive way. We’ll just call this an education cost. “Good by savings. I hope this project takes off so that I can afford to eat.” “Oh shit I said that on my last project!”